Importance Of Heartbreaks

Heartbreak. It’s one of the biggest issues that comes up in my private practice. Love gone awry equals deep emotional pain, a spike in insecurity and a temporary desire to retreat from the world, at least from the dating world. Nothing can rock one’s life more than suffering from a broken heart.

You’re supposed to feel badly after having your heart broken. It’s the body’s way of communicating its pain. And if managed correctly, this heartbreak can lead you to a better, more creative and much stronger emotional place. 

There are many potentially positive effects of experiencing and working through one’s heartbreak. It’s not easy work, that’s for sure, but if you put in the time, the benefits can be huge!

Here are a few pointers on why heartbreaks are important and why they can be enriching in your life:

A broken heart can make you wise.

Anyone can have knowledge. You can read all the books and go to all the seminars and listen to all the “experts” and keep all your knowledge-bombs in your back pocket. But the truth is, wisdom is found in the trenches.

You can know the right path to take, but what happens when it comes time to take it? Do you put all of those thoughts of yours into action?

A broken heart can make you feel sort of crazy, but that “upside down” feeling you get when life takes a violent and unexpected left turn is really just a recalibrating of priorities, a drastic move from truth from fiction, a growing up from naive to experienced and wise.

A broken heart rids you of that perfect fairytale notion.

Growing up, we all have very unrealistic views of love. Or rather, a view that only accounted for the good, the great and the fantastic, but never the less-than-fun, the difficult and the uncertain. 

We saw love as this magical goal that, if attained, would make us eternally happy. As adults, that’s how some of us still imagine love.

We see it the way it was depicted in all the stories we heard, read and watched growing up. We fail to see the darker side of love — a side which does exist — regardless of whether or not we wish to accept it as part of the deal. 

Heartbreak introduces you to the pain and sadness that defines love. It isn’t pleasant, but it is necessary.

A broken heart helps you reconnect with friends old and new.

Heartbreak provides the chance for you to reconnect with those important people that have been there for you throughout life.

Friends can provide you support and offer you acceptance and companionship, which can be vital for your emotional well-being after a breakup.

The period of time after heartbreak is also an opportunity to make new friends and experience new positive people if you want. 

Enjoying life with a new group of friends who contribute to your happiness will allow for you to grow into the person you wish to become, while allowing for your heart to heal.

"Let life surprise you" engraved on a cup with yellow flowers inside

A broken heart makes you self-reliant.

People run into relationships in order to run away from themselves. They aren’t happy with the people they are or with the way their lives are playing out. This is often because we listen to the opinions of others more than we ought to. 

In response to this, they go out and find love in order to stop being the people they are, and instead become this joint partnership.

The problem is you never stop being you, just as he or she never stops being him or herself. Having your heart broken reminds you that nothing is forever, and that in the end, you can only fully rely on yourself. 

The feeling of self-reliance is the most important lesson a heartbreak can teach you.

A broken heart teaches you the art of gracefully ‘letting go’.

Realize that it’s better to ‘let go’ of something that doesn’t want to stay, rather than holding on to it.

Never be ashamed of your wounds, they turn you a lot wiser and it’s you who will learn to pick up those broken pieces all by yourself. Your friends and loved ones will definitely try to help you out, but you will realize that the only way out is, the one that goes in.

You need to feel the pain to understand it better. You can overcome pain only when you understand and battle it on your own. 

The person you loved is now gone and all you have is your life, which you need to sort on your own.

A broken heart helps you learn what you need in a relationship.

Although love is a defining aspect of a relationship, to thrive in relationships you also need trust, honesty, safety, and strong communication.

Heartbreak opens up a path to reflect on what you have learned about your relationship’s strengths and challenges, as well as about yourself. It offers an opportunity for you to learn what you may value in a partner who will grow alongside you in life.

A broken heart will eventually heal and you learn to love again.

It’s completely okay to fail in love. It’s completely okay to break up. It’s completely okay to take your time to heal

However, if you find someone again, don’t let go. It’s okay to be scared but it’s not okay to stop yourself from falling in love again.

You deserve another chance to love and you deserve another chance to feel the ecstasy of falling for the right person. 

Take your time but when you’re ready to love again, forget all the pain, drop your guard, and repeat your previous mistakes.

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